Uganda 14: September 13, 2004

Americans are popular in Uganda. The Bush administration probably receives as much support from Uganda as it does from any country in the world. However, we get our satellite TV out of South Africa and the South Africans have a different opinion of Americans and our President. A recent advertising campaign for the satellite network featured movie titles super-imposed on still shots from the real world. When President Bush's face came on the screen, the words "American Psycho" scrolled by. The sports channel covering the U.S. Open noted "you don't have to like America to realize they put on a great tennis tournament." South African Olympic coverage (which, by and large, I enjoyed as it showed many events that NBC didn't show) featured former South African athletes who harped on American arrogance, though they did note in wonder that America allowed athletes from around the world to train at its Universities and other athletic facilities.

Speaking of sports, the Uganda softball season just wrapped up. Several men from the Embassy participate in Kampala's first softball league. Our team featured no regular player below the age of 32 and several reconstructed knees, elbows, and shoulders. Nonetheless, we managed second place in a seven team league, beating out two women's teams, two men's teams and a team from Japan (note: Japan does not appear to send its elite athletes to Africa). However, one university team kicked our rear ends. It;s tough to keep up with a bunch of 18 year olds. We played on two fields, one at Makerere University and one at an international school. The international school is outside of town and we sometimes have to interrupt women hoeing in the cassava fields to retrieve foul balls.

We get a lot of juxtaposition of the changing nature of Ugandan society and remaining traditional farming. Our modern Embassy was constructed in 2001 and lies on a road undergoing a major upgrade. Yet, shepherds occasionally graze their cows on the grass just outside the walls of our parking lot. Our house in on Kololo hill, which is full of mansions of expats, wealthy Ugandans, and Embassies. Every other car is a late-model SUV. Yet, there's an open field around the corner with a couple of goats grazing. During our runs, Liz and I pass women and girls walking along with bushels of wood on their heads that they will use for cooking fires. There's a house around the corner with chickens and cows tethered in the yard.

Personal ads

Ugandan papers carry personal ads, just like US papers. However, ads contained in Uganda's top English language daily indicate that lonely Ugandans seem to be looking for someone slightly different than what Americans typically seek. Some excerpts from this week's paper:

"I'm looking for a sugar mummy for love. She must be working."
"I would like to meet a Ugandan aged above 25 years, tall, sexy, slim, submissive . . . "

"I am . . . looking for a lady for a long-term relationship. She should be fat, a protestant with no kids and not older than 38."

"Looking for an absolutely gorgeous, beautiful, cute & slender girl below 19 years for an actual meaningful and intimate relationship. Should be ready for a medical check-up."

"I am 20 searching for a beautiful caring and loving babe ready to drive me across the road of love."

"Looking for a hot and romantic affair with a sexy woman. [I] . . . need someone on the plump side (must be over 80 kgs) and be a social drinker."

"A fat lady weighing 75 kgs and above wanted for hot sex and serious romance."

Unlike the US, most Ugandan passenger cars don't have bumper stickers or other ornaments other than a few religious phrases. However, most trucks, buses, and vans traveling on Uganda's roads are a different story with large and bright phrases plastered on the windshield or back window in English, Luganda or Swahili. Most of the phrases are a variation of "Jesus Loves" or "Allah is Great," but a few put in a good word for their favorite English Premiere League football team, in some cases seeking Jesus's Love or Allah's greatness on the team's behalf.

Fort Portal

Liz and I continue to explore Uganda. Last week, we drove with a friend out to Fort Portal in western Uganda to spend the weekend at Ndaali lodge, which sits on top of a crater lake and looks out over the highest peaks of the Rwenzoris. Of course, that meant I got my first experience of a long-haul drive on Ugandan roads. To be fair, the government is in the midst of a major upgrade of much of the road to Fort Portal and when completed, the road should be the equal of most US secondary roads. Right now, driving on the side-roads is an adventure, flying over rises and splashing through puddles (ponds, actually) right out of a pick up truck commercial. However, the repairs still will leave a 24 kilometer stretch near Mityana pockmarked with potholes like bomb craters. As a driver, you quickly learn the skill of "auto slaloming" as you (and every other car on the road) careen from side to side looking for the path with the fewest number of bone crushing jolts. Uganda follows the English tradition and drives on the left side of the road, but you will pass cars on the left and right and see cars coming at you from all directions. You just need to swallow hard, hold on to the wheel, and not panic. It's a situation that plays to all Liz's strengths. Sunday. Anyway, we drove back on a Sunday and when I was able to look up from the road, I joined Liz and Allison (our friend) gazing at locals streaming out of church in their Sunday best. Women in bright, floral prints and headscarves. Daughters in pastel first communion dresses. Men in suits. Boys in miniature copies. Everyone walks along the road in a constant parade.

The lodge itself was beautiful. We had a banda (cabin) looking out over the mountains, which would peak out of the cloud cover at sunset. The lodge's 5 friendly dogs accompanied Liz and me on runs and walks in the surrounding fields and then camped out on our porch for the evening. We developed a flat tire and the lodge's handy man changed it in a jiffy. It cost me a tip of about 7 dollars, plus drinks for the crowd of men who surrounded the car providing supportive suggestions. We spent a day in Kibaali forest tracking chimpanzees. We only came across one lone male, though we saw several other primates, such as baboons, red tails monkeys, and colobus monkeys. We were among the only people in that area of the tropical rainforest and were surrounded by sounds from the forest canopy-- hooting, chirping, growling, purring, tweeting, barking, grunting, twittering, flapping, whistling, pounding -- and that was just Liz. Only joking, honey. Heh heh. Really, it was quite remarkable.