Thailand 29: May 25, 2003

I'm splitting my time between visas and American Citizens Services, sort of the best of both worlds, if you will.

The other day, I arrived in the office to find an e-mail addressed to me entitled "monkey bite." Now, there aren't too many jobs you can have in which you get an e-mail like this and realize right away that it is not a joke. In this case, one of our American geniuses, currently living in Cambodia, visited a guesthouse in Northeast Thailand. While playing with the resident primates, he apparently incurred the ire of one which bit him on the hand. Instead of seeking medical attention in Thailand, he decided to travel back to Cambodia, where there are no decent hospitals, before seeking help from our Embassy in Phnom Penh. At Phnom Penh's request, we checked with the guesthouse to make sure the monkeys weren't rabid ("none have died yet.") and hopefully put our Cambodian Doctor Doolittle's fears at ease.

We had an elderly American pass away last week in his unairconditioned apartment. Unfortunately, no one found his body for 3 to 4 days, at which point the apartment owners called us. Oh boy. Thankfully, the police had arrived first and removed the corpse, but without getting into details, going through his possessions was not a pleasant task -- think liquification. The police, attempting to be helpful, had taken off his watch, which he was wearing at the time of death, and put it into a bag with all his other valuables. I had to open the bag to see what was in there. Thankfully, I hadn't yet eaten lunch.

Another longtime American resident passed away in the far south. He was a rather large man (over 300 lbs), particularly by Thai standards. Unfortunately, Thai hearses cannot accomodate someone of his girth. Thus, we needed to have him cremated in a local wat (temple) - under Thai law, all cremations are done at wats. His family, apparently devoutly religious folks from the South, did not want Buddhist rites on their Methodist kin and it took a little convincing for them to feel comfortable that the locals would not try to convert his soul. However, I seemed to make the family happy and the AmCit's sister said she would vote for me when I was up for reelection.

Over in the visas section, things keep chugging along. One woman drafted a letter explaining why she wanted to go to the U.S. highlighting her desire to see the "vivisection" of American life. An American gentleman yelled at me that he wouldn't want to be me on judgment day -- maybe so, but it won't be because I wouldn't help him commit visa fraud.

Liz and I made our last trip a few weeks ago, this time to Northeast Thailand. I had to travel to Udon Thani for a consular visit and Liz came up to join me for the weekend. The Udon area used to house a US Airbase during the Vietnam war and many veterans have settled there. It's also the heart of an area that exports young women to the bars in Bangkok and Pattaya. Therefore, depsite the fact that it's a reasonably small city, there are many older American (and other foreign) men wandering about the town with their Thai girlfriends/wives. Some real relationships, many not.

To the north and west of Udon is some beautiful, mountainous country that few non-Thai tourists come to visit. Liz and I did a couple of hikes, the first successful, the second cut short by the untimely whining of one member of our party. We both agreed, however, that the region produces some great grilled chicken.

Last weekend, I stopped by the Thai fruit festival, held in a local park. It was about 100 degrees, but there was a marching band, clowns, dancing fruit, you know, the usual. I picked up some fruit flavored Thai rice wine to bring with us to Uganda.